My Twenty Ten in Ten Words

Saw this on a friend's blog and liked the idea. I've found that writing things down is crucial for moving forward.  Document your story, the good times and bad.  It will remind you of where you've been and give you hope for where you're going.

2010 in 10:

Patience
Uncomfortable Obedience
Clarity
Affirming Relationships
Self Identity
Starting Over

How about you?

The Final Countdown

December 31.  I am a sucker for the emotionally driven moments of life.  I eat it up like a cupcake from Sweet & Sassy.  Today is one of those days.  The day to move past the regrets of this past year and start over.  New beginnings.  New opportunities.  Another chance.  A redeeming moment.  (Sounds romantic, right?)

Starting Over.  Again.  

Makes me breathe a little easier.  Makes the stress a little less burdensome.  I get another chance.

If this joy project has taught me anything, it's that the little steps are the most important.  Giving myself 5 extra seconds to reign it in, before losing my cool with the kids.  Taking 5 minutes to call a friend and let them know I am thinking about them.  Getting down on the floor for 20 minutes to have a tea party with Ava.  Listening to the giggles in the other room while the girls play in their forts made out of sofa cushions and blankets from every bed in the house.  I can clean it up later.  Closing the computer and listening to the adventures my husband had at work.  Meeting my sister for coffee.  Praying for 20 minutes uninterrupted.  Following through on a promise.  Smiling.

I am grateful that every morning brings another chance to love my children well, appreciate my husband,  connect with my God and live the life He designed for me.

My final 5 joys of 2010:

{96} Family.  We laugh together, cry together, rejoice together and mourn together.    

{97} Grace.  He never gives up on me.

{98} God Moments.  You know the ones where you feel His presence so thick that you don't want to move.  The unexpected phone call that brings an answer to a prayer you've been praying privately.  The person who speaks into your life without any knowledge of the situation that has been keeping you awake at night.  It's all Him.  Blows my mind.  The same Jesus that the world celebrates on Christmas. The God that parted the Red Sea and was with the 3 Hebrew boys in the fire.  He is looking out for me.  He loves me.  He wants the best for me.  He has plans for me!  I don't know about you but that rocks my world at it's core.

{99} 2010.  At the end of the day, I close this year with joy.  Every experience has taught me a lesson that I can take with me into the new year.  Yesterday's heartbreak gives me the unique opportunity to walk alongside someone who will experience similar heartache tomorrow.  This year has brought countless moments of laughter, joy, peace, fulfillment, and love.  Regardless of my circumstances, I am blessed and I will bring praise to the One who divinely inspires every moment.

{100} 2011.  I am giddy about the possibilities.  New adventures, mind-blowing God moments, new friends, stronger relationships, personal growth, laughing til I cry, intimate conversations.  New beginnings.  Another chance.  Starting again.


Love and prayers and I'll see you in the new year.

   

The home stretch

Wednesdays is starting to be my favorite day of the week.  Hubby is home during the day (working night shift), I'm off and the girls haven't had school.  {75} We sleep in. {76} Stay in our jammies til noon.  {77}  Eat a large, hot breakfast.

Yesterday we decided to make the most of it, so we dropped the kids off at Uncle Paul and Aunt Liz's house.  {78} I'm so thankful for family that loves our kids just as much as we do and helps out every once in a while so Mommy and Daddy can slip away for a quiet dinner.  And the girls are thrilled because Uncle Paul makes the best hot cocoa ever.  

{79} Jonathan and I enjoyed a relaxing night out.  Nothing fancy.  But special none the less.  {80} We talked about the past year and where we had been.  And we talked about the new year and where we were headed. 

{81}  On our way home we stopped at one of those "we get the overstock" department stores and I found the cutest Steve Madden sandals for $7!  {82}  Even though it was 18 degrees outside, it reminded me that summer was coming.  {83}  I threw in a cheap pair of sunglasses as the cherry on top.

My latest addiction is reading blogs.  This blogging world is fairly new to me and I am amazed at all of the {84} amazing women I have met so far.  Women with stories.  Women who aren't the cookie cutter perfect wife or mom.  Women who are real about their struggles and victories.  They give me laughter, tears, and hope.  They motivate me to move forward.  It still surprises me when I remember that I have never met any of these women face to face.  I forget that we've never shared a conversation over coffee.  We've never met for lunch.  Yet they are intricately woven into my journey.  {85} There is great joy in community.  Doing life with people, right around the corner or 8 states away.  

{90} I am eternally grateful for God's Word.  Last night I picked it up to read a few verses before bed and I am in awe of how precisely perfect each word is.  It's as if He wrote it just for me.    

One of my goals for our family in the new year is to memorize scripture together.  I want us to live and breathe His Word.  I want my girls to cherish their Bibles and the stories of disappointment, hope, fear, faith, pain, forgiveness, love and joy woven inside.  The principles that were divinely inspired thousands of years ago and are still relevant today.  {91} I'm looking forward to the adventure.

I know he's been mentioned here and there and everywhere but I have the best husband ever.  He brings me joy every day, in many different ways.  {92} I LOVE to watch him with our girls.  He teases them, dances with them, sings with them, rocks them to sleep, and genuinely enjoys them.  {93} He's a pretty smart guy (although I don't tell him that enough).  He's always given the best advice, and 9 times out of 10, he's right.  {94} He's patient, kind, understanding, and incredibly self-less.  I love him. 

{95} Rounding out the list today would be you!  I am so grateful for your kind words of support as I jump in to this blogging adventure.  I love reading your comments and the things that bring you joy.  Again, it's that feeling of community that brings healing and hope.  I hope you feel it too.

Little Sisters, Mr's, and feet without blisters.

{66} Found an online boutique that I ♥ called lulus.com ... How cute are these shoes!

{67} Had some color fade kinda quickly after my last hair appt, so my stylist gave me a free redo today.  I ♥ having someone else wash my hair.  Ahhhhhhh.   

{68} We are window shopping for houses right now.  Nothing too serious, but it's fun to plan and dream about our future home.  I'm grateful for the house we live in now, but I'm looking forward to the day when we have our home.  A home with that comfy, cozy feeling.  A home where the girls can have sleepovers and  prom pictures.  I'm getting ahead of myself, I know.  But you get the idea.  I'm ready to put down some roots.  

{69} My little sister brings me ginormous amounts of joy.  Her random and hilarious text messages, emails and phone calls brighten my day.  I can tell her ANYTHING.  Really.  Anything.  She's smart, beautiful, and organized beyond my wildest dreams.  She knows me.  She gets me.  She loves me.  I love her dearly.  I want to be like her when I grow up.

{70} Speaking of little sisters, I love watching Heidi try to keep up with her big sisters.  She adores the ground they walk on.  Here's a shot of her tagging along, playing dress up.

{71} Looking forward to a lunch date tomorrow with the Mr.  He's been working night shift the past few weeks and I feel like it's been forever since we've had some quality "us" time.  Even better?  {72} The lunch date was his idea.

{73}  Found the perfect ornament for our Christmas tree.  Reminds me daily of the many joys in my life.  

I'm in the home stretch.  This joy project has been incredibly fulfilling.  Sometimes it's easier to focus on the stresses of life rather than the blessings.  I am blessed beyond measure.  

{74} I have 3 beautiful children who are unique, deep, thoughtful, loving, silly, and stunning in their own little ways.  My heart breaks at the thought that I may have missed a beautiful moment to embrace their uniqueness, answer their questions, listen to their ideas, and encourage their wildest dreams.

I'm slowing down.  I'm listening now.

JOY.

More Joys

This project is called 100 joys.  Have you noticed I'm only on #43?  I am going to finish this thing if I have to find joy in these annoying couples on House Hunters.  These people are so picky!!  OK, moving on.

{44} Spent the entire day yesterday with my sweet family.  Returned some gifts that didn't fit and {45} scored the most adorable little ensemble for a {46} fabulous price!  It's comfy, cute, soft, and I feel pretty when I wear it.  Hubby offered to occupy the girls while I shopped.  I wasn't surprised when he was in line behind me with 3 little girls grinning from ear to ear holding their new purchases.  {47} He's a GREAT Dad.  

Off to the mall, although it was packed, we maneuvered our way in and out of stores with our cadillac stroller.

{48} London amused us, and other mall goers with her silly faces.

Here's a sampling of some of her best work:

{49} Heidi waved at the fake Santa in the Apple Store window every time we walked by.  {50} Ava took great pleasure in the fact that I asked her to tag along with me.  She reminded me of something I said a few weeks ago -- that she was Mom's shopping buddy.  She can hang with me for hours.  I didn't even know she was listening.  (Note to self - she's always listening and places great value on the words that I speak.)  So off we went while Daddy chauffeured the cadillac and 2 silly little girls around until we were done.

 {51}  Dinner at Chick-fil-A.  The girls played and {52} Jonathan and I had a nice conversation with complete strangers.  That always seems to happen there.  Have I mentioned how much I love CFA?  {53} Dessert was a cookies and cream milkshake.  Have I mentioned how much I love CFA milkshakes?

Hubby headed off to work but not before {54} thanking me for washing his socks.  It's the little things.

The house still looks like a mini tornado ripped through it ... mostly post-Christmas chaos.  I did manage to {55} organize the pantry and get {56} 4 loads of laundry washed and put away, including the sheets.  {57} I love sleeping on freshly cleaned sheets.

{58} Girls went to sleep fairly quickly last night which gave Mommy some extra me-time to focus on {59} HGTV, my glass of {60} sweet tea and the last {61} cream cheese brownie leftover from Christmas Eve.

{62} Dinner menu for tooday is selected (half the battle) and {63} hubby offered to have it ready when I get home from work.  

{64} Only a few weeks left until hubby officially graduates from Police Academy.  The excitement is building!

{65} I am blessed!

Joy!

100 Joys Continued!

Wow. I've got a lot of catching up to do.  Was hoping to wrap up 100 Joys by the end of the year!  I'm not even halfway there ... so brace yourself for a laundry list of joys today.

{31} Christmas Eve -- my favorite day of the year.  All of the anticipation of Christmas with none of the let down.  It's a magical day.

{32} Heidi-bug all dressed up for a family get together.

{33} Aunt Dottie's cream cheese brownies (of which I ate 4 at above mentioned family gathering).

{34} My team won at "Catch Phrase".  I like to win.

{35} Christmas morning!  Not only did the girls {36} sleep until 9 am but they also took naps a few hours later, and {37} Mommy joined them.  {38} Hubby bought me a beautiful Pandora bracelet which I will treasure.  I love the idea of documenting my life in a tangible way.  Reminders of special moments represented by a small bead on my wrist to bring me joy whenever I wear it.  Sounds a bit dramatic I know, but it's totally my thing.

{39} Had a wonderfully relaxing Christmas day, wrapping up the day with dinner at Gram B's house with my family.  We laughed, cried (ok not everyone cried -- only me and Dad -- the chronic criers of the family), and ate more than necessary.  The perfect ending to a wonderfully joyful holiday weekend.

{40} SNOW!  Enough to look pretty and cancel work but not enough to keep us locked in the house all day.

{41} Looking forward to the new year.  New beginnings.  I started writing a life plan today.  Looking to find purposeful living and a plan of action to get there.

My life has been a snowball of change over the past 2 years.  I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that {42} God was by my side throughout it all -- always guiding me, sometimes with a bold voice and other times silently.  It is my responsibility to use those experiences and build on them, to create the life He wants me to live.  A life without fear; A life full of power, love, and discipline.

Read a fabulous quote via the Dave Ramsey show: "Not until the pain of the same is greater than the pain of change, will you embrace the change."

{43} I am ready to embrace the change.

Scandalous Joy

I was reading the story of the "adulterous woman" ... (cue dramatic background music) ... in John chapter 8.  She was "caught in the act" and was seemingly dragged by her hair onto Main Street Jerusalem, naked.  She's immediately thrust into the middle of a story that started unfolding 33 years prior.  Jesus is there.

The religious men ask Jesus to cast judgment.  Instead he bends down, to where she is at, and begins to write in the dirt.  Can you imagine?  This woman was down on the ground trying desperately to preserve what little dignity she had left.  I am sure she was expecting a death sentence.  Instead she opens her eyes to see Christ, the Savior of the world, eye to eye.

His gentle response elicited stunned silence.  "The sinless one among you, go first: throw a stone."  One by one they walk away.

I've been there.

Afraid to open my eyes - not ready to face the ones who know about me.

Standing by, curiously listening to the rumors about her, and carelessly repeating what I heard.

Stone in hand, ready to toss it at the first person who would take the attention off of me.

No need for apologies.  No admission of guilt necessary.  No condemnation.  No public example.

With love, He simply tells her to go, and sin no more.

Scandalous grace ushered in great joy.

Are you wrestling with guilt today?  Open your eyes.  Breathe.  Stop trying to mask your shame.

Are you a curious onlooker, gazing at someone who has been caught in the act? Love.  Extend compassion.

Or maybe you've got a stone in your right hand.  Stop.  When grace is so breathtakingly undeserved, it's hard to imagine why anyone would want to withhold it from another.  I believe, you are never closer to God, as you are in the moment that you forgive another.

Regardless of where you are in your story, grace is available.  And {30} with grace comes immense joy.

Trust me, it's a beautiful thing.

Joy is a package deal.

Really enjoying my joy experiment.  I've heard that it takes 21 days for something to become a habit, but already I'm finding myself automatically defaulting to joy.  My heart feels warm and fuzzy.  It's funny that I set out looking for joy ... and along the way I've found patience, compassion, peace, softspoken words, and faith.  I guess the fruit of the Spirit is a package deal.  My heart is shifting into a better place without any big fanfare. 

Although I wasn't so joyful at first to see the white stuff, {19} it was fun catching snowflakes with Ava.

Christmas cards have been piling in from all over.  {20} I love the pictures of growing babies, happy families and warm wishes.  I've made a point to hang each one up on my wall.  It reminds me daily of the {21} blessings of friendship and family.

Our Christmas tree is up!  Complete with the {22} pretty white lights (I won this year) and the decorations that the kids have made over the years.  Growing up, {23} the memory of my mom pulling each personalized decoration out and telling my sisters and I the story of how/when it was made is plastered in my memory.  It obviously was a pretty big deal to me.  I can {24} see the excitement in my own girl's eyes when I remind them of the year they made the manger out of a nut shell & cotton balls and then proudly hang it front and center.

Ava and London were angels in the Christmas Program this past Sunday.  Heidi, my youngest {25} sang her little heart out from our seat in the audience.  {26} Ava sang her solo as perfectly as any angel can be expected to sing, and {27} London was just as entertaining with thumbs up to all her fans.

Sunday night hubby and I had a double date with {28} new friends {29} at The Melting Pot.  Cheese and chocolate folks.  Joy in double doses.

Joy.  Refreshing and Motivating.  I feel like I'm on to something ... this experiment was divinely inspired.  I just know it.  Big thanks to my new friend Sarah for the nudge.

I know I'm searching for something .... did I lose it along the way?  Or was it never really there in the first place?  I am comforted knowing that He is with me on this journey.  I am also encouraged to know that He delights in every joyful moment that I discover...or re-discover.

Joy ~ The Big Picture

Another night of vomiting.  This time the unintended target was our bed.  Sheets, comforter and all.  Laundry at 3 am is not fun.  So, alas, another day off for me and the girls. {10} Thankful for a boss that understands and empathizes.  Can't imagine the stress that some moms face when they have sick kids and a job with no flexibility.

Since I'll be spending the day at home today, I should have some time to get Christmas cards addressed.  {11} Feels good to be ahead of the game for once.

Our community faced a tragedy over Thanksgiving weekend.  An 8 year old boy that goes to my daughter's school passed away unexpectedly.  My heart aches for his mom, dad, brothers and sisters.  Really puts things into perspective.  {12} Finding deep joy in the fact that my family is healthy.  Vomit at 3 am isn't so bad after all.

{13} All 3 kids are napping, at the same time.  {14} Kitchen floors mopped.  {15} Bedrooms vacuumed.  {16} All vomit covered sheets, blankets, pajamas, and stuffed lovies are washed.

{17} Enjoying some quiet after a chaotic 24 hours.  Just me, my sweet tea and my Twix bar (which I pulled out of hiding -- I hate to share chocolate).

{18} Found some incredibly cute and silly photos on my phone of Ava, London, and Heidi.  They confiscated it without my knowledge and gave me some unexpected moments of joy.



I realize that there is a difference between being joyful and finding moment of joy.  However, I also realize that the moments of joy are crucial pieces of the puzzle.  Get enough pieces linked together and a beautiful, joyful picture begins to reveal itself.

I hope you are finding joy today.

Joy comes in the morning

Continuing my journey of 100 joys...
#5: 11:30 pm. Child vomiting in the middle of the night. On my top 3 of least favorite things. Gonna have to dig deep to find joy in this one, right? At first glance, yes. Not gonna lie. This was some nasty vomit. The first stage is clean up. Joy has left the building.

Stage two. Freshly bathed, blonde headed baby girl wrapped in a blanket snuggling up under Mommy's chin. For now, it's a peaceful, silent night.

I look down at Heidi, her sleepy eyes barely open, looking up at me. She seems content. I rock her until she falls asleep. And then I rock her some more.  Joy.

#6: Kids & I stayed home on Monday to mend. Hubby had a scheduled day off so we all got to enjoy a day together. We stayed in our pajamas. All day. We watched movies, ate chicken noodle soup, and napped whenever & wherever the opportunity arose. As a family. In our pajamas. All day.  Joy.

#7: Michael Buble, Harry Connick Jr., Mariah Carey: Christmas Music!! Joy!

#8: I chatted online with my friend Rachel over the weekend. She has committed 2 years of her life to the people of Albania. She is there now, living with a local family (in a house without heat!), teaching in a local school, and doing it all with a smile on her face. She has found joy in doing what God asked her to do. Joy in obedience. She inspires me. Not to go to Albania (sorry Rach :)...but to be obedient...and there I will also find joy.

I Samuel 21:9: "the rewards for your past obedience will make an encore appearance in your future assignments."

#9: Took my oldest daughter, Ava, to the bus stop this morning. We waited in the warmth of the van. We munched on blueberry muffins and giggled at silly things. We sang a Taylor Swift song together. We prayed together. I kissed her cheek and off she went. SWEET JOY.

I'm finding that joy is abundant. If I am intentional about seeking it out. Middle of the night, first thing in the morning, sickness, health, heat, no heat, work, or play. It's there.

Would love to hear about the joys in your life. Feel free to share in the comments below!

Day 2 on my quest for JOY!

I am officially on my journey of joy.  It's amazing what you find if you simply slow down and focus.


1. We were in a hurry last night to get out the door.  (Aren't we always?)  I was trying to get everyone's shoes on their feet, which for some reason is always a source of contention in our house.  What should I expect when I am one of four females living under the same roof?


As I slipped her shoes on, Heidi mumbled, "it's too tight".  Ugh.  We don't have time for this.  Normal protocol for this situation is to squeeze that foot in.  Shoes are expensive and we need to get as much wear as possible.  But a little voice in my head nudged me to slow down.  


I stopped shoving.


I looked into her beautiful, hazel eyes and asked her what was wrong.  She seemed surprised by the fact that I heard her.  My heart sunk just a little. 


She's getting bigger - and it's not just her feet that are growing.  She's turning into a beautiful, unique, little girl.  Lord help me to be so careful with every moment that you give me with these precious babies. 

I kissed every stinky, little toe and found joy.

2.  Chick-fil-A cookies and cream milkshake.  Joy!  Joy!  Joy!

3.  Walked in the door after a lively evening at Chick-fil-A with friends which included 10 energetic children, 3 moms anxious to talk to someone who had NOT been born within the past 10 years, and 2 husbands who made an early exit to catch the football game.  I carried my sleepy, ice cream covered, baby girls upstairs to bed, changed into my pj's and turned on my computer.  My first stop was this blog - and there I found a comment from my dad telling me (and the whole world - yes the whole world reads my blog!) ... ahem ... telling everyone in the world how proud he is of me.  Immense joy.

4. Speaking of Dad, another joyful moment comes to mind. This is the kind of joy that keeps on giving and giving and giving. I remember the day well. My phone rings. It's my mom. She tells me that my dad was baptized earlier that morning.  I can hear him talking in the background. He sounds like a kid on Christmas morning. The excitement is pulsating through the phone. I'm laughing, crying, and fist pumping all at the same time.

Just like He promised. Yes, HIM. The big Guy upstairs. Oh yeah, did I ever tell you about the time I talked with an angel?


25 years ago. 


As passionate a prayer as an 8 year old can muster, I was lying in bed and praying for my dad.  I looked up and there he was.


He was peaceful.  Never once did I fear.  


He sat on my bed and we talked. The image is vividly cemented in my memory.  He was there.  He told me not to worry.  God had sent him to tell me that my dad was going to be ok -- that one day he would commit his life to Christ. And that day had finally arrived.  25 years later.   EPIC JOY!  


I think this one could easily take up Joy spots #4-100 but I'll play fair.


Joy in the small and simple.  Joy in the epic.  

Finding Joy

Teaming up with one of my favorite bloggers, Sarah Markley, to find One Hundred Joys in my life.

Going to focus on the details, the tiny blessings that I often overlook.  The simple pleasures that my Father places in my path, with the sole intent of bringing a smile to my face.  He loves to see me smile.

I'm giddy with excitement as I think about the possibilities.  My husband reaching over to hold my hand while we drive home from church.  My 3 beautiful girls singing Christmas carols in the backseat - getting every other word wrong.  The email I received this morning from a friend.  The midday phone call from my sister, and the laughter that accompanied.  I can't even recall what we were laughing at.  But I remember the laughter.  All divine, joyful moments created by God.  I'm looking.  I'm sure it's there.  Joy.  In the ordinary moments.  Joy.  In the overlooked conversations.  Joy.  In the unnoticed sparkle in my daughter's eyes.  I'm looking.