criticism stinks

especially when it's directed at me.

my pride wants to scream, "who do you think you are"
my hearts wants to interrupt, "give me a chance to explain"
my soul questions, "god, am i out of line?"
my feelings are hurt.  my ego is bruised.  my vulnerability is exposed.

sometimes it's fair.  sometimes i deserve it.  sometimes it's helpful.  sometimes i even welcome it.

other times, not so much.  i read through the lines, evaluate my perspective, and rest assured that it's undeserved, unwelcomed, and unfounded.

what then?

my sister is an animal fa-reak.  seriously.  she will rescue an ant.  growing up, she had animals of all kinds in her room.  birds, chicks, lizards .. you get the point.

she had a lizard of some sort.  i don't know what kind exactly.  i just know that it was green, slimy, and gross.  but she knew every little detail about this creature.  this little firebreathing dragon was rough and scaly on about 80% of his body.  however, underneath, on his belly, it was smooth and soft.  

for the most part, only the tough exterior was displayed.  rarely did we get a glimpse of his soft side.  the vulnerable part.  the place he rarely exposed.

maybe their anger is a result of a pain they endured many years ago.  maybe their skepticism stems from years of unfulfilled promises.  maybe their harsh tone and sharp tongue is a habit formed by always feeling the need to defend themselves.  maybe they lash out and then feel regret.  maybe they walk away feeling guilty.

“out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” (matthew 12:34b)

and from that place, they spew.

when i remember this vulnerable side, i am free to let go of the hurt, anger and disappointment that they've inflicted.  after all, it's not really about me.  i am able to keep it in perspective.

it is then that i allow god to use me to reach past the tough exterior.  to affirm them.  to love them.  to understand them.  to assure them.  to hug them.  to love them.