I wear my heart on my sleeve. What you see is what you get. Disney commercials, military dads surprising their kids at school on Youtube, Extreme Makeover Home Edition, weddings, babies, elderly couples holding hands ... they all produce the same result: tears. Lots and lots of tears.
Last month I was looking for joy and I found it in abundance. And it felt good. I like feeling good.
I like feeling. I like knowing that there is a place, deep within me, that connects on a level beyond the tangible. But I also know that I have a tendency to let my emotions guide me. It is a slow process, but I am learning that I cannot look to my emotions to determine truth. Truth must control my emotions.
Emotions change. Sometimes the change happens so fast that I can't keep up.
Emotions are biased and have limited perspective. They focus on here and now.
Truth stands on it's own. It is never changing.
I also know that God created me. He made me this way. He handcrafted my tears to flow on a whim. He held my heart in His hands at it's first beat. Every emotion that I feel, He breathed into me. Psalms 139 verse 13 reminds me that He "created my inmost being" and "knit me together" when I was still in my mother's womb.
I think the real challenge, at least for me, is balance. Not necessarily balancing enough of one and not so much of the other; but more about balancing the two together, completely whole. I want to embrace my emotions, assured that they are intricately woven in wisdom and truth. I need to temper my feelings with prayer. I need to reign in my emotional whims by spending time in His Word. I need to submit to Him and trust that He will guide my heart and mind. After all, He does have plans for me.
The emotional girl who has yet to get it all together - He has plans for me.
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