that night. the night my soul met god.

i've always known god. but it wasn't until that night that i really met him.

it was a night full of pain. the kind of pain that reaches into your soul and steals everything sacred.

i stumbled down the sidewalk. it was late at night. i was lost. truly lost. in a matter of seconds, hopeless had it's death grip on my neck. i was suffocating. could not breathe.

and that night.

late that night, walking aimlessly up and down the street in my pajamas with no shoes on, i met him for the first time.

he found me. i found him.

that night.

when the pain is my worship.

i've been seeing and understanding that God uses *all* for a purpose.  ALL.

we miss out on so much when we resist the ugly in our story.  let him be the creator, again.  transforming the burnt, left over ashes into beauty. beauty with a voice that beckons us to accept his grace and love.  let him create something from nothing.  he can do it, you know.

for even if the mountains walk away and the hills fall to pieces, my love won't walk away from you, my covenant commitment of peace won't fall apart. the God who has compassion on you says so. isaiah 54:10