Our Strong Man

It's the way our girls press into you. They lean on you, just like I do.

They wait for you impatiently when it's nearing time for you to be home. They chase you like you’re the hero come home. Because to them, you are.

You're exhausted after a long, hard day's work.  But they want to be near you anyway. And you let them.  You are their jungle gym and the goalie for the backyard soccer game.  You are a princess at a tea party, a pirate, a scary monster, and a charming prince who saves the day.

You could hush them, distract them or ignore them. But you let them stay close, and without words, your actions tell them that they’re valued and beautiful.

When they are fearful that something is lurking in the shadows, you protect them.  You assure them that you are near.  Always near.

You and I both know that there is something lurking in the shadows, wanting to devour what we work so hard to grow.  He waits, and then the thief in the shadows attacks, with lies.

With authority, you speak louder than the lies. I hear you tell our girls that they are beautiful – with actions and with words. Because you know that they need both. 

You remind them that...

They are loved.
“My beloved is mine, and I am His…” (Song of Solomon 2:16)

They are beautiful, flawless.
“You’re beautiful from head to toe, my dear love, beautiful beyond compare, absolutely flawless” (Song of Solomon 4:7)

They belong.
“The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord” (Psalm 45:11)

Thank you for constantly giving of yourself.  Thank you for working so very hard to make sure that we have a home, food, clothes, gummy bears, and cute shoes.

You promise and deliver.  You are our hero.  Our rock.  Our strong man.

We love you!

Marriage: some things I've learned

Let him love you.

Let him touch you. 

Let him look at you.

Let him accept you.

Let him speak truth to you.

(Why are those 5 so difficult?)

Spend time with him.

Make time together.

Apologize for your part.

Respect him.

Respect yourself.

Honor your feelings by sharing them.

Honor his feelings by listening without being defensive.

Accept who you are and who he is right now.

Accept that you will change and he will too. 

Put yourself in his shoes. 

Share your perspective.  But remember it's just that, a perspective. 

Give him the benefit of the doubt.

Challenge him and allow him to challenge you without being defensive.

(I see a recurring theme here.)

Pray together.

Pray for him.

Pray for yourself first.

Make time for yourself.

Spend time with solid friends who speak truth into your life.

Give him space (and no guilt) for friends and guy things that you just don't understand.

Support, promote, and encourage his dreams.

Hold tight to your dreams.

Dream together.

Be creative together.

Be realistic.

Be his biggest fan.

Speak highly of him in public (and private).  Brag on him in front of others.

Kiss him in front of your kids.

Remember that you are different from others, and live your life instead of theirs.

Honor your relationship daily.

Show up.  Every day.

Be passionate.

Be adventurous.  (Men love adventure.)

Be present in what he tells you.

Celebrate with him.

Celebrate him.

Focus.

I feel God tightening up the reigns a bit in my life.  My spirit is anticipating great new beginnings.  New chapters.  God has been gently speaking to me about areas in my life that need renewed focus, commitment and accountability.  I am not sure where all of this will lead us, (Jonathan and I both share these feelings), but I want to be prepared when He does open the door. 

Specifically, where and how I spend my time.  I feel the Spirit urging me to clarify my values, and follow through.  I need to be selective about what gets my attention.  If it requires readjusting the routine and sacrificing the comfortable feelings, so be it.  I feel it's a step that is required of me at this time, in order to move forward.

There are spiritual steps and practical steps that I need to take.

On the practical side, I am going to read more.  I took the girls to our local library over the weekend and we all picked up a few books.

I also feel God nudging me to befriend specific people.  One way or another, He is weaving my path with their's.  He sends little reminders to me, almost daily.  2 specific people.  I welcome His nudges so I am going to follow-through and hopefully He'll keep nudging.

I am training myself to be more organized.  (This also is a great feat for me.  Ask any one of my family members.)  I am packing lunches and laying out clothes at night.  I am working on meal plans and organized grocery shopping trips (with coupons!).  I am planning, not just for tonight or tomorrow, but next week.  These may sound like no-brainers to you, but they're small steps for me.  I'm getting there.

With more organization, I also hope to gain punctuality.  (Stop laughing Amanda.)  This may be the one that seals the deal.  If we (my family) can master this one, then we have arrived.  My wise brother-in-law wrote a little snippet last week.  In it he mentioned punctuality, and said, " It's a matter of integrity for me.  I am accountable to be diligent, reliable, punctual".  This really hit home with me.  It's an area that has been a constant struggle for me.  And it is spilling into the routines of my children.  I want to reverse this nasty trait and teach them the value of their time, as well as the time of other people.

So that's a start ... there's much more to add to this growing list.  I'll continue with Part 2 later in the week.

Becoming

What do you love to do? What is your gift to the world?  If finances were unlimited and failure was unlikely, what would be your dream?  My husband asked me these questions recently.

Here I am, 34-years-old, and I still don't know what my dreams are.

Instead of dreaming, I've always tried to be who others wanted or needed me to be. But honestly, I wasn’t very good at it. It never brought fulfillment, to me or their expectation of me.  And in the end it left me burnt out.

One of my favorite passages of scripture is found in Psalm 139.
 "You shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb...Like an open book you, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, the days of my life all prepared all before I'd even lived one day."

I was not designed to be who others expected me to be. I was created to become all that God planned for me to be. But I was lost in the process of my becoming.

For the first time, I realized there was an important reason I was who I was — with my passionate preferences and mixed bag of emotions. 

It's easy to neglect ourselves to meet the needs of everyone around us, and call it self-sacrifice. It sounds godly, but in doing so we risk shutting down a place in our soul where God’s dreams and gifts are waiting to be revealed.

It's a delicate balance, wanting to find purpose and passion .... and waiting for the right opportunity.  Sometimes I hesitate because I am fearful.  Fearful that it's the wrong decision.  Or that a better one awaits.  If I was spiritual I would know, right?  It's this constant tug-of-war in my brain.  Do I jump in faith or wait with wisdom?

I read somewhere that we shouldn't jump unless we know exactly where we want to land.  Risk for risk's sake is never wise.

God has been speaking to me very specifically lately.  His voice is clearer than ever.  (And for this I am so thankful.  I was in a quiet, dark place not too long ago.  Isolation was my identity.)  The Spirit is leading me out of that season and into another.  He is revealing my true identity, in Him.

I'm dreaming again.  This time with my hand woven tightly in His.  

Stay tuned for updates on this new season.  My hope is that this process of pain, isolation, hope,  revelation, focus, commitment, and renewal will give me a heart to walk with others as they take similar journeys.

What about you?  What would you dream if failure was not a possibility?  Vocalizing it is scary.  It's exciting.  It's risky.  You're vulnerable.  It takes courage.  It takes confidence.  I dare you to try.