I went through a rough season. My life was flipped upside down and in the process I changed. The change might have been noticeable to a few, but not to the majority. I did my best to keep the act up. To continue to act as if everything was the same. But the result was relationships built on false pretenses. No one really knew me. The real me. The new me.
The absence of intimate friendship was more damaging than I imagined at the time. I wanted to reach out. But didn't know how. I craved a woman who “got me” and would both listen and share. I needed someone to reach out to me.
Thankfully, that season is over. I've rebuilt friendships, and most days I feel connected and content. Recently, though, I read an editorial published in USA Today that included information from a fascinating but sad study. This study cited statistics that showed half of Americans only have two close friends. Even more heartbreaking is that one out of four Americans say that they don’t have any close friends.
Not a single one. That’s a lot of lonely people.
So what can I do?
When you don’t have a friend, BE the friend to others that you would like to have.
Would you love a friend who takes time to show that she cares by picking up the phone and asking about your day? Then pick up the phone and ask about someone’s day.
Would you love a friend who keeps confidences and is trustworthy? Then be trustworthy.
It’s easier to stay isolated sometimes than to reach out, especially if you’ve been hurt or disappointed. However, it's impossible to thrive without genuine, honest relationships. We need each other. That's a fact.
One of the most important lessons I can teach my children, is to be a good friend. To care about others. To look out for the overlooked. To be inclusive of everyone.
It's easy.
Sit with someone who normally sits alone.
Include someone who is normally overlooked. (Even if they say no. Again.)
Be kind. Be generous. Be the friend you wish someone would be to you.
And remember, if all else fails, you've got a friend in me :)
